we all need someone in our lives,

someone special. so that they can be there to pick up the pieces when you completely fall apart.

it's one of those days again.

yes, it's saturdays, and behold! my dad is home. so, of course, it's time for him to bring all his misery back and inflict it all on my mum. and all the rest of us.

i wonder when my mum will finally snap.

she doesn't deserve this, okay. she's an awesome person. and she married the wrong person. even if i don't exist, it's better that way because her life will be better.

she's given all this for us, and you treat her like a piece of crap. you don't deserve anything, okay.

you can see how bad it is, when i actually question my own existence. i'm willing to let myself not exist for her to be happy, and that's a tough thing to do, because i'm completely selfish. i don't know what they're arguing about now.

forget this, forget that.

i need to study hard so that i can give her a good life..and be independent. that shall be my drive. no more slacking.

i slacked too much today. i mean, i started work at like 4. had tuition in the morning, then slacked. i only did like 4 chapters of cell bio. mitosis was damn straightforward but the first few were spam content. especially organelles. i didn't even do notes for that, too tedious.

must finish by tonight. or tmr morning, early morning. whatever, same difference.

forget it, i'm damn pissed and bitter now. nothing's going to help.

nothing.

he saved the world, countless times.

just realised there are an entire collection of doctor who fans on tumblr.

and of course, they're still spamming crap about harry potter and the royal wedding.

kate middleton. she's okay, i guess. at least she's british. if she was american i wouldn't care at all. no offence, americans.

and tumblr makes me realise there's a whole stack of good books out there, and i haven't read them all. i think i have, but actually i've barely skimmed the surface. nevermind. come june, it's time to spam. now, we must chiong first.

i've been saying that a lot. well, i'll see you again tonight, to see how productive i've been. if you want a tip, you should just turn your com off. or lock the room. i'm doing both. hopefully it works, and i do get through cell bio.

if i don't post tonight...well. either i've collapsed from cell bio or unforseen circumstances have prevented me from reaching a com.

which could be either one of the below

1. blackout

2. i'm eating

3. there's a really good show on

4. i'm out with someone ^^

so, what'cha doing tonight xD

it's only love.

i find that i lack moral willpower.

i know that i should be studying, or at least resting.

but, instead, i'm

here

walking around aimlessly

tumblr-ing

blogging

half-sleeping

eating

wondering.

and wandering.

and playing pes, of course.

you see, i'm totally not in the exam mood -.- i think i somehow think i'm okay for some things already, but i'm not. so i'm completely not gonna die.

must jiayou! next tuesday spam consultation hahaha.

listening to some random jap song now. for some reason it's so relaxing. and...nice.

oh yes, must mention. i finally beat justin in something! english compre thingy, haha 39/50!

by half a mark. but after that he informed me it's one mark to an A...so during the lesson i was desperately trying to get marks, but then i realised i dunno what i'm saying most of the time xD

"random partners". apparently ms koo doesn't get it, but mr chin does. thank goodness.

sometimes, even the tiniest of things matter.

achievement unlocked : beat justin in something once!

today was okay i suppose...assembly was damn long. but it was good cause wang made an announcement...you can see the effect. once he walks onto the podium there, everyone laughs and pays more attention xP

chem was...kinda dull. and mood swing-ish. and then ho got pissed at us for eating in class before that..whatever. sometimes, the best is to compromise. but anyway, we're not supposed to eat actually lol

butterscotch bread! i am so buying like stacks of that for next year. apparently only the east has it though. ha. you west people are sad. the east is so awesome (:

even though there's travelling. but it's okay, travelling is a part of life, which we all do. most of the travelling is actually done in the mind, not physically. i mean, look at clare and henry.

but their story's still kinda sad. he gets to live till 43 and then he dies, and then what? and his live is in like constant danger and they get hurt so much because their babies die and they can't solve the problem. and then clare can't cook for nuts hahaha.

i must master cooking. this june. cooking is a useful skill.

omg, i want whale projections. that's so cool. then the people trying to invade your mind get totally owned, because the whales just eat them, or they just squash them completely. and you can't shoot whales, the bullets just bounce off. hell yeah.

where was i? oh yes, today.

then, econs presentation was...average. halfway through bradley(who killed my itouch batt, like he does everyday), started some argument with hardik over the use of his name, and he ended up swearing. i mean, come on, if you start the argument, don't expect people not to retaliate.

i think i've said this like 3 times today..whatever. i just feel very strongly about it. but that's the problem because many people have such strong characters.

then...math, which was slacking. i blogged during math, with justin's com. then we edited his stickies. it's damn epic.

side note : people who have their birthdays on the 26th are awesome.

so far i know august, may and december. any more?

i'm glad it's 26. i like 26. 26's beautiful. see, this is turning into a good post, even though it's all text. if you've read until here, well done! you have accomplished something.

then we went to get koi! then dion didn't know i was buying for him so in the end got extra, and i gave ji. was gonna scam hema for $5 but he didn't buy it. damn.

then soccer...epic. like, stuff happened. but it's not much. we still won, though. amazingness. and jiamin was going crazy about the royal wedding because it was starting like then. speaking of that, here's a gif of kate middleton's epic long dress.

i don't know if it shows as a gif. i don't think it will. but heck, the pic will still be there i think.

and that will conclude our royal wedding section for the day.

then trained back, ran into some douche-y train attendant guy. but he wasn't that bad. i don't think it's his fault ba, probably just in a bad mood :/

be happy, random guy! and use some commonsense, drinking water isn't going to kill anyone.

so slept all the way back (again), and then talked about steaks with dion. lol. yes, it's too difficult to cut and by the time you cut it you still have to chew it. agreeeeee right :D

i can't think of a suitable ending, so thanks for reading this, and goodbye.

welcome to the hotel california.

yes, that's what they're playing now. so awesome :D

and jordan's beside me. and he says this is stupid. what a cow. he doesn't even blog.

exams are so depressing, but we're all slacking in math now. well, except some people. who are being sensible and practicing math. the rest of us are total slackers and we're gonna fail xP

especially chinese...i'm so damn unconfident for chinese. deborah's doing a calendar now, for exams. that's so demoralising. but it's okay, only 2 more weeks. i hope :/

sorry for abandoning this for the past few days. i've been busy/moody/can't be bothered to post. plus, this keyboard is weird. plus, i try not to blog when i'm unhappy. It affects the quality of the posts. i just end up unhappy.

jordan is tying me to a chair now.

econs presentation was okay, except that we missed out some crucial points. but she said our solutions were good! and then halfway russian started swearing at hardik. i mean, he provoked the argument, and he started it right, then what does he expect? you can't bomb some country and then blame them for defending themselves. that's like total balls man. no logixc

logc.

logic

finally.

i've run out of things to say. i need stuff to happen, then i can have stuff to post about. and then there'll be pictures. but no one brought camera like the entire week cos we're all in that depressed/mugger mood. but we're all slacking and yx keeps poking me.

apparently i owe them koi because torres scored last week. that's...i don't know. it's good that he scored, but now i have to pay out koi think the whole word was like damn relieved that he scored.

long overdue topic.

okay, it's time for me to go, i've overstayed my welcome already/ there's some giant head in front of me now.

we all tell ourselves that we'll never be like those people, but then in the end we still find ourselves turning into monsters.

tired, sleepy, nostalgia.

sorry for bailing out on all of you today, especially dionn. totally slept the remainder of the train ride back after fiona left. then he followed me to pasir ris while it's faster to go simei. i'm so sorry ><

but then i missed the bus. so i took another one. and then i made a fool out of myself, cause i was damn sian. somehow at the end i dropped my bottle and my hand reacted instinctly, it went up and i accidentally brushed the hair of the girl in front.

but now i'm at home. reached at 4.18 i think. earliest ever, usually it's like after the sun goes down -.-

or when the sun is going down.

i feel slackish now. well, it's probably because we're all in that phase where lessons have finished, and the teachers either slack or ask us to do up our files or tell us what to study. and we're all still shocked from finishing projects. so yeah.

whatever. econs presentation on friday. that'll be the last. i think i snapped at a lot of people today too. sorry..

tumblr calms me down. a little. sometimes, i wished i had a com. i'll just bring it to school everyday and spam it during breaks. i can do whatever i like. but then i'll spoil it or something.

hostel briefing tmr. i'm not really looking forward to it. even though we'll be with friends, i like home. hostel won't be as comfortable, as nice, as..well, you carry on for me. and i feel like i'm neglecting my family. i feel guilty when i don't spend time with them. but sometimes, it's hard to spend time with them because things just spiral into one massive mess.

ignore me, i'm digressing.

i'm hungry. but i don't want to eat. and i'm still extremely sleepy. maybe i should skip school tmr. like some people, who just skips school and lessons as and when they like.

the world outside is peaceful. i like my house. it's familiar...warm, and comfortable. i don't care if it's small, it's my house. and it has my stuff.

i wonder if i can take my bed into hostel next year hahaha. they should have a buffet room. with a constant supply of free food.

somehow, wherever i go, after like an hour i feel like eating. i want to eat, eating is so good. it's so...satisfying. and happy. when i'm pissed, and i get nice food, i instantly cheer up. that's how effective it is.

i need more tumblr followers. howcome i have like 10 and nikki has like 127! or something like that. unfair.

so tired. i can't survive on 8h of sleep in 2 days. i'll just die. oh, i think not sleeping completely made justin sick. ji also. a lot of people not here today..our class was so empty. and so foreign.

but we still blasted music, and if we're unlucky some teacher comes in and scolds us. some teachers don't care though, they just walk past like nothing happens. it's the "i'm too cool to give a damn" attitude. love those.

the world.

love the way you laugh.

collection.

our life is just a collection. it's a collection of emotions, friends, mementos, and memories. and somehow these memories remain inside our brain, and they trigger emotions, but most of the time they just make us sad.

if it's a happy memory, you'll be sad because you can't relieve that moment. strange huh. we should be able to relive moments. maybe a simulated reality program will do that in the future.

whatever, this post is lousy. i'm just doing this because i haven't blogged in so long and i feel bad. and i'm suddenly sad i dunno why.

phy in-class tmr. gg time, i don't actually know much about optics..i just get through by copying and checking notes. time for mega studying.

at least past 3 days finished a lot of work. all the projects are now done! and i chionged all the chinese hw + math assn + phy assn during lessons today. i had help. thanks, you guys are awesome (:

i want so many things now. i want doctor who. i want to play pes. i want to sleep. oh well, after exams. work first...

that's what i said in my suibi just now. haha, being in AV has its perks. during assembly in the audi i went up to the control room and did work. there's a table and nice aircon there! and watched the videos at the same time..so i kinda participated. multitasking!

think, if what you're going to say, or what you're going to do will affect others. it's because people don't think, that's why they end up hurting others. well, the nice people anyway. i need to do this also.

always care for others.

this calls for a celebration.

yes i finished dv and all the projects are over i think woohoo.

jiayou, guys! let's reach the end and finish all these projects/hw/exams.

and then we party.

strangers, again.

strawberries with cream.

work, work and more work.

things to do by this weekend :

1. cell bio lab report

2. DV

3. econs project

4. cell bio game rulebook + writeup

5.math assn 5

6.mastering phy

7.phy assn 6

what the hell.

even if i do manage to get those done, that leaves me like a day to study for exams? okay, 4 days. that's damn screwed. usually i start at least a week before.

curse all this that is happening. i'm sorry you got hurt. but i didn't do it.

on the first page of a story.

yes, it's eleven now.

dion left at ten. then i watched night at the museum, pes-ed a bit, and finished watching doctor who.

haha. hardik dion fiona jordan came over to do work. yeah right.

so from 1040-12 was like me and hardik. dion epic, his mum dropped him off at 1030 downstairs apparently. then he no phone, and he dunno the unit number. so he went 11th floor and stone, do phy. while all the time we were worried about him, even called his mum. then we walked around the neighbourhood looking for him, and checked every floor of the building. just not the eleventh one.

so, it took him 1.5 h to borrow someone's phone and call his mum, then hardik caught him while he was coming down the stairs. phew.

so, we did like half of DV, and i did 1/3 of mastering physics.

it's damn hard lah. and damn long wtheck!

and i think i'm kinda sick. there's tuition tmr sigh...3h of misery.

so hardik spent the time being racist to himself, stalking out my sis, dion's sis. and people. and we took a lot of photos to make gifs. epic, dion playing with the ball.

time to go, i think my head's overloaded.

more work.

shattered glass.

what do you want?

that's a question you should ask yourself. i still don't know what i want. actually, i do know. i want to spend my life with people i love, doing things i love, and helping people to love.

i sound so noble. actually, most of it there is selfish. everyone wants that. don't you?

waiting for more nice stuff on tumblr that i can reblog! see, mood totally changes after dinner. even though i wasn't happy during dinner. it was porridge..which was bland. so i ended up eating egg tarts with porridge. still.

i want egg mayo.

just play it step by step. don't plan too far ahead.

everyone i want to talk to isn't online.

sorry, this post is just random comments. but if you've been a loyal reader/follower for long enough, you'll know that i do this from time to time.

and that the spaces just make the post seem long. see, i'm scamming.

sorry for the font in the last post btw, i changed it back wrongly.

thanks to the elections, we now have some holiday on monday, and exams are cramped together. how can they do this. seriously, i don't care much about elections because i'm not that involved. but it matters i suppose. and how come there's an email huh. i didn't get it o.o

whatever, no time to study anyway. like 2 days only. gg.

space.

emotional crisis.

i hate these feelings.

why can't it just be the way you want it to be?

there it is. i'm being a self-obssesed jerk again.

but really, trying to do the right thing at the right time the right way so that you can be happy is just like searching for a flea in a haystack the size of australia while being blindfolded. you don't even know if you're searching the correct haystack, or if the flea hopped off to get some lasagna or not.

i don't know why i'm pissed. and confused. just now i was happy.

happy that people are coming tmr, to do work.

happy that there's no school tmr.

happy that we're all screwed for exams.

wait what?

like seriously, adrian wrote out the whole plan for next week, and we have like ten things due on monday.

oh well, let's just keep fighting. together, we can beat the dragons.

love the way you lie.

just a quickie.

today was tiring. and i didn't have lunch. and i was kinda pissed throughout. and worried.

but hell yeah we got first! woohoo.

shini, jordan, deborah, we are awesome ;D

totally didn't expect it. but it completely made my day..

holy @!#!@ there's a bee in this room.

ahaha i didn't scream. see, it went away. you just have to be nice to bees.

i still have dental tmr..at like 230-300. tmr will be hectic.

but afterwards is friday!

which means no school.

need to go now. got bio cell to chiong, chem to study, and some peanuts to crush.

later (:

it comes when you never expect it.

yes, they just sent me an email saying i have dental tmr. cos i went last year apparently. hopefully it won't be too bad. my teeth are dying but i've been trying to spam brush. at least it's during bio. but revision...can't be helped i guess.

must do more.

just like my pull ups. lol, one week can't do it de lah, even if i spam. but anyway still have to do, so might as well train from now.

holiday resolution : i'm going to run more, and i'm going to play more guitar. and i'm going to cook :D

chionging the below in these 2 days :

1.cell bio game

2.cell bio lab report

3.EI.

4. study for chem. does that count lol.

then friday do DV. thank goodness for the holiday.

hope tmr goes okay.

i think i'm in love with you.

and someone told me, that this world we live in is not real.

at least that's what happened in my dream. okay i think there are two parts.

ahh i can't be bothered to talk about it. okay basically in the first one we were in econs, and now econs has like epic math formulas, so it's damn hard. then i keep seeing tong everywhere for some reason. then i tell her that i've figured out she's the "programmer", and that this world is not real. so she admits it, and i get scared. seriously, what is going on.

going crazy. dreaming about simulated reality.

oh the other one is we were all on a bus then chee gets out and buys an egg muffin. like, not like the macs burger. but, a muffin, with egg in it. weird.

lessons kinda lousy today :/ geog likw wtmum, got surprise quiz! then we all write like damn a lot and hand died. haiz. at least math can do. then house games..we owned at captain's ball again. 22-2 apparently.

oh, the usual. apparently a win is only a win, goal difference doesn't count for nuts.

time to go study.

oh, nikki, i'm sorry i ate your scone. i thought it was ji's! if you want i'll make someday haha. come find me in 20 years.

oh, the night life.

i hate buses. i want a tardis. goodness, that'll be so much easier. imagine how much time that'll save.

or a vortex manipulator. either would do.

so yes, i just came back from...white sands. and i haven't had dinner. what i've done this day has been so far :

1. eat

2. eat more

3. eat even more

4. edit geog

5. study econs (yeah right)

6. find econs article

7. hit myself with remote control over and over again cos i was breaking down.

8. went running.

9. kicked some balls with some kids.

10.came home

11. showered

12. went to restring my guitar.

13. waited for bus

14. buy giant plastic thingo at popular.

15. wait for bus

16. get pissed.

17 and now i'm home!

wow, it did stop at 17. i didn't plan it okay.

off to dinner now. my life is hectic. and i plan to finish geog and econs insight by tonight. no idea how i'm gonna do it.

into the west.

i'm kinda stuck in that stage where i'm thinking whether to slack off and whether i should go do work, or if i should go to sleep.

and then i can't find article for econs. i'll probably just end up using lee's. oh well.

no originality.

haven't done any work today. hahaha. well. weekends aren't for doing work, they're for slacking! anyway gonna get my guitar restringed later, then go buy stuff for bio proj. if it all goes to plan.

so yes, my aunt is here from msia, and she just went shopping at chinatown. and she gave me 50 bucks. yes yes yes so happy. money.

hey, don't judge me okay. another $950 to go, to my dslr-buying plan.

had lasagna again :D

but getting fat. awww, it's okay, i know you hate me.

flowers for you?

that's on my tumblr anyway. gogogo visit my tumblr! i've been there a lot.

lotr music is extremely good for the soul. i feel happy and light even if i'm not doing anything.

fall in love all over again.

mood affecters.

what's up with me. one little thing changes my mood.

this is why i don't like to blog during weekends. i get super depressed and pissed easily. i mean, when i'm in school and i get pissed i just kick stuff, but now i can't kick stuff, because

1. i'll get scolded more

2. the stuff here's harder so it's more painful.

anyway, there'll be photos later, because i'm having lasagna. but then you already know that.

it'll make me fat.

time to go, or else i may say too much. i don't really care on weekends, because i don't feel that guilty for slacking since it's a WEEKEND. did half of geog and oral presentation last night, so quite accomplished.

everything's on google docs nowadays! i mean, look at my bookmarks bar, half of it is google docs.

yeah, click the picture to enlarge.

back to black. black's cool..and simple, and neutral.

unlike white. white's clinical and ugly and just..

happy 16th, fionatann :D

orange lightning.

hey (:

i don't know.

again. just got back an ate dinner. pool was kinda dismal. i mean, i was good at the start, then i just fell apart. and playing with hema's epic, he misses all the easy shots and he gives away cues pointlessly. and then he still wins cos he sinks the last one -.-

that's so...cheater.

oh well. amazingly, i always get pissed off, when hema's there. actually i just piss myself off somehow -.-

so basically most of my life is me being pissed at myself for being pissed at myself for being pissed. cool right. and the other half is me being pissed at me being so self-centered.

do other people think this way? i don't know, it's just that i do. and i find some people act so...perfect, and awesome, and i want to be like them. but i just can't do it.

lousy personality.

so yes, today was speech day. after that my arms and legs were aching like crapp..apparently i took 600 + shots. skill xD i have the files now, need to sort and edit. then after that we went out, i think there's at least 300.

like balls. so it's close to one thousand!

whatever, i kept screwing up also. and it doesn't help when zenry is beside you, trying to mess things up -.-

i'm not even sure if it was him. maybe it was just me.

byebye, gonna go sort photos now.

oh yes, list all the homework. haiz.

in order of due date :

geog migration project

DV review report

econs insight 2

cell bio game

mastering physics.

and a lot more. can't remember.

all the dresses and blue coffee.

maybe we shouldn't have.

okay, it's thursday night. and there's speech day tmr, which means no lessons. and hopefully we can go out. we can, i guess.

anyway, i don't know what to say. i don't know, the whole world's kinda foreign now.

today was okay i guess. the usual. even though pe's still screwed. but i'm so proud of us for winning that match! haha dion png and i all scored, and we won 3-2! and qi, so pro, birthday luck xP

two more chem pracs to complete. we can do it! if not, just do tmr ba. poool tmr hell yes. i hope. do we need ics? lol

i'm not going to tell you directly, and i shouldn't have to. but, before you rush into it, before you let yourself get too attached, think carefully. most of the time, what we think could happen would probably not happen. you would just be waiting, and then she'd have ruined you for everyone else.

i don't want you to get hurt.

but for the rest of the people, go ahead and knock yourselves out! here's a toast to your mum

lame, i know. but seriously! i googled toast and this is what i got. so yes, you can blame google.

i don't know why i let myself be like this. maybe it's because i'm just not good enough and so i don't want to let myself get hurt, but it's like blur. and i'm just wandering around, with no direction. and that's not good enough.

sorry, this post is kinda deep and messy and full of emotions that aren't mine.

fingers crossed for tmr.

they kiss, and you people make a big deal out of it.

so yes, went speech day rehearsal today.

(the pastry of the sausage rolls had too much shortening in them. but i still loved it so thankyou (:

my wrist/arm is going to die on the actual day T.T

let's hope i don't screw all the shots up, or drop the cam or sth :/

but yes, it'll still happen.

i'm sort of looking forward to tmr, but then not really, because there's pe, and napfa retest. and i still can't do pull ups. seriously, this isn't the kind of thing that can be done overnight.

and the stupid sbj. why can't they have napfa test on free kicks. that'll be brilliant.

oh, right. because i'll either blast it over or miss the ball completely.

and then there was this thing dion was telling me just now. imagine if you could, do a rainbow, to lift the ball high above you and in front of you, then stumble a bit and do a diving header, and score.

that'll be an extremely successful viral video. but yeah, messi can probably do it.

heck, the council of elrond is boring. the battle of the pelennor fields is so much better.

oh, i'm talking about the sountracks btw.

life's still there, sub-standard, busy and sad. and happy sometimes. but that's life.

it's a mess.

oh yes, anyone who's ex-07 and those people we always hang out with who sees this, we're going out after speech day to play pool. so bring clothes to change please. i'll sms again later, anyway. oh, if you want to come you're welcome too, as long as you're nice.

and of course, you give me some food.

lady gaga fell off a piano.

three hundred.

yes, it's been that quick. almost a year of posts.

of course, i have you people to thank, for reading this.

so

you're awesome.

today was...quite okay. i suppose. but got a lotta work to do, still. can't be bothered with chem prac and chem assn, chiong on friday morning ba xD

that means i've got like 2h.

actually, i'm kinda worried about friday. i don't think we can go out, so little people. maybe i'll just go with 08. if we can plan one that is :X

people are too busy these days.

gosh, lord of the rings ost is damn addictive. it's so beautiful and awesome, and...words fail me.

speech day rehearsal tmr. again. seriously, 7 mics! insane. at least i'm doing photo this time round. will be fun^^

slacking is so fun. it's so addictive. well, anything other than doing real work..

i need a macbook. i want a macbook. but i still don't like the trackpad. it's difficult to drag. even though it looks cool.

Scandals.SO SO SO NICE.

guest poster : jordan ilovetorres png

hi guys,just want to say that i love torres ALOT and that there's gonna be a viral photo on facebook!:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

now,back to pinny.

yeah, he's crazy. i'll continue this post later. right now it's math and it's rude to blog in math because my math is going to die.

-1h later-

yes. math is over.

okay, fine. they're all going crazy over a flying wasp-like thing, and then they screamed until like balls. you know how some girls like to scream. and the rest of us are just standing around waiting for them to end.

oh yes, scandalous. check it out on fb. we're good at that stuff.

i don't know. even though it's a friday, it doesn't feel like a friday because it's not a friday. it's a monday. and later have to go speech day rehreasal. i can't be bothered, because doing photo, so not much to do. and there's no food.

english advocacy still not done...don't want and lazy to do. i don't even know how to do.

this post is lousy...oh well. i'm not feeling in the best of moods right now. it reflects my mood i guess.

chocolate overspam.

dinner.

be jealous.

string rate, and the classical overtone symphony.

sometimes, i just can't stand my dad.

i mean, he worked to give us all this money to buy this house and this computer and all my stuff and all, but come on, that doesn't mean you can be malicious to everyone just because you think it's amusing that you behave that way.

i mean, come on. if i want to wear red pants i'll do it. and it's in the house. you can't just say that i can't wear yellow + red because i'm grown up. firstly, i'm not grown up. the episode last monday proved that i don't have that maturity yet. and, i'll wear what i want, unless it has holes in it where they aren't supposed to be. then, you can tell me to throw that shirt away. but this is new, so i'll wear what i want, thankyouverymuch.

well, just not the gay pants that have been hanging behind my door for a month and two.

i'll bet a few fish fingers you guys are laughing right now.

anyway, and then he keeps complaining about the food. i mean, he just gives crap about it, like, it's too watery, it's not crispy. come on, cook it yourself, and stop complaining. can you imagine what my mum is going through? and then he keeps making fun of my grandma's english. seriously, that's too much, be nice to your mum.

and then he throws random tantrums complaining about his hunger because he doesn't eat at regular timings. like my mum says, so hard to please. if there's food, eat it. if you choose not to eat, don't complain that you're hungry and get pissed at everyone for doing nothing to you later. sheesh.

what the hell.

-----------------------

okay, happy times.

but all i did today was like 90% of the chinese paper. and...halfway through geog now. gosh, i'm suicidal even thinking about it. i mean, why do we have geog tmr? she can't just take our break zzzz@!#!@$##!

everyone hates her.

oh, and i did 2 lines of econs! i'm so happy that i have to do like almost everything because no one's bloody helping me. and there's so many projects. for goodness's sake, can help or not. i don't want to solo everything on my own, it's bloody tiring.

i will scream at some people sooner or later. but i know it's like only partially their fault, and they did help, and i'm just being a selfish bastard.

oops, bad word there.

ferrari's performance has been....so dismal. these 2 races..i blame DRS and KERS. and red bull's epic fast pace. the car must be powered by red bull or something..

never mind, lame.

but life goes on.

i hate geog i hate geog gosh. i'm wondering if i should major bio now. might as well, since i'm in this school? i don't know. i want to go work in av and photography and videography..but that's a tough industry.

i hate projects. there's so many! and i think it's just google docs screwing up but i can't check because calling everyone is just rude. and i'm lazy. i think i screwed up somehow sharing the thing..

tmr's friday. informal yessss. so awesome.

love is a strange thing. it happens, increasingly often. but i've been wondering if i should let myself slip back into it. i've been cutting myself off, because i don't want to get hurt again. but being emotionless just leads to anger, and, let's face it, that's kinda lousy because everyone else gets hurt too.

mia rose.

drawing blanks.

i don't know what to say.

somehow, these few days, it's been exhausting to blog. expels energy.

not that i did any work today. haha. slacked, had tuition, went out, had guitar, ate food.

the usual saturday.

hope chelsea win. seriously, it's insane to play luiz at right-back and rest terry and alex when they have a full strength squad..

nerve-racking.

i really don't know what to say. sorry, i'm a wreck these days. i always seem to cause problems. just now i wanted to go out, and then my dad agreed to send me to nex, but then everything screwed up because we missed one turn, and then the road had no u-turn for miles. like, seriously, at least 6 km. so he was pissed, and he was swearing. and then it rained, and the wipers didn't work. totally my fault.

always the cause.

dance to this song.

thank goodness for closure. even though it's partially my fault. i'm glad things got sorted out.

reading perfect match now, by jodi picoult. later got tuition, and have to go out, and then guitar. at least there's soccer tonight, even if i can't watch it.

so many projects to do! i think i'll just heck english advocacy first. left the paper in school..

next week's gonna be busy. very busy. with speech day rehearsals and bio quiz and all that homework. not with all the emotions getting in the way every few hours. and napfa retest. i must go train..

thank goodness monday's a friday. slack. and at least there's media. oh media yesterday was fun. kinda. adrian crashed and then they talked about cameras, and halfway through i completely lost them..and dion was making pointed comments super loudly xP you know him, he always does that..

oh, and. visit my tumblr! i reblogged a lot today. tumblr is good for the soul. without many words, all the tension just evaporates..

bye, i'm off to slack and hack my way into the champions league. again.

i love you all, always.

what am i doing with my life?

i mean, i don't get why i do the things i do.

now i'm pissed. just now i was pissed, then happy, then i got pissed again.

i mean, why do i even play soccer? it just makes me pissed, because i'm lousy, and i can't do anything. and i shouldn't even be there okay. i just make people mad. like lee, because i hit too many long balls and they all fly out.

sorry.

and then i'm pissed at hema for talking to much shit. why do i let it get to me? it's like i want to be pissed. my subconscious is telling me to screw up my own life. that's fucked. like, really bad.

i can't do anything. can't even pass my napfa, for freaking out loud. and i'm lazy to train. see, now i'm even more pissed.

and all this started because i just crashed out of the champions league in pes. i can't get anything right, can i. well, it's probably because all the setting started screwing up. my default's gone now. and the thing can't change player at all. wtf la

and the fucking internet can't even work..

i'm pissed a lot, and i don't think people like me because of that. they think i'm some freak, some guy who swears randomly, is not happy, and kicks stuff. i mean, seriously, why am i this way?

you see, i'm even pissed about myself being pissed. i'm sleepy, and i don't want to sleep. why? stupidity.

you know, i've had like 9h of sleep in the past 2 days. tmr got tuition again, wth. can't be bothered. and so many fucking projects to chiong.

Homework.

1. DV

2. Chem Practical 3 & 4

3. Chem assignment 5

4. Bio cell game

5. Econs insight

6. Econs project.

7. Geog assignment

9. chinese paper.

8. there's a geog project coming up. we're all dead. seriously, geog is bullshit. i don't even know what's going on half the time.

i think i'm sick. all this because i can't make the right decisions. i don't know what to do, when to do. what do you want from me?

oh yes, people who litter are such bastards. seriously, is it that difficult to pick up your crap and throw it in a bin? bins are everywhere! you guys are bloody worthless. clean up after yourself, for goodness' sake.

i don't like who i am.

hello, it's me again!

i'm sorry for abandoning this blog for like a week. sorta. been busyy. with bio-di video. it's finally done! and exporting. so awesome. haha.

i just want to say i love you all for reading this blog and taking the effort to follow my life haha. thank you, really. you make me feel loved :D

thanks for putting up with all my crap, haha. let's move forward and be better people tomorrow!

time to go study math. i'm pulling an all nighter :/

later fall asleep during math test xP

take all your jabs and taunts.

okay, maybe i'm just being too materialistic.

it's weird to blog with someone behind you okay. i just can't do it. i mean, blogging is very public, but then again, it's a very private hobby. it's awesome that way (:

speaking of awesome, the first few hours of this day have not been awesome. i failed 2 stations, i don't know what's wrong with me. i just can't do anything. something comes up, and then i just fail. i'm too fat. what's the point anyway. okay, yes, it's my fault for eating too bloody much and slacking around.

pissed off about the chelsea match too.idiot.bosingwa is useless.

that was jordan.

anyway, to continue. i mean, i think chelsea should win the 2nd leg, so no problems there. even if they don't, it's not the end of the world.

it's not the end of the world.

so even if i fail napfa, and i'm going to die in ns, it's not the end of the world. I guess what i'm really pissed at is just that i can't do anything well. i sample everything, but i'm not particularly good in anything. hai. then i feel like everyone around me is suaning me, but they're not doing it on purpose. then i get mad and scream at them and it's all my fault because i'm a lousy person.

sorry to everyone i screamed at today. i mean, that conversation with jookee went a bit like this.

me : hi

him : hi, how many points you got?

me : erm...i failed 2 stations. 8, 9?

him : oh, you know, i got 23. 23!

me : oh, hell yes, you got 23! f*** off.

random kids behind us : hi! hi! hi! hi!

me : SHUT UP!

yes, that's how bad it was. but now i'm okay i guess. now i'm hungry. wtheck. nevermind. it's time to play fifa.

bio-di editing, phase 2

sorry, i've been busy. if i can get hold of a com i'll post tmr.

that's all i have for now. so fast, tmr's wednesday already!

something tells me i'll be up all night on thursday ):

bio-di editing - stage 1

oh yes forgot to tell you people. just click the pic and it'll go full size. somehow my blog doesn't show pics nicely. that applies to every pic. tys.

fishy.

this morning's one counts as a post okay. so if you want more, you can just go my tumblr.

click the link somewhere.... ------------------------------------->

there.

or maybe it's like somewhere there. yup. there.

so yes, i just got pissed at math, came home by the usual route, played pes ( i'm addicted to it because i got the com version now) and now i'm here.

oh yes, i also ate a lot. mondays.

tata~

you better post okay!

pyon.

looks like python.

i'm in geog now ( why do i always blog in geog)

Dion : i can see your anus! uranus, uranus.

yeah, he's random that way.

anyway, we're all just sitting around here doing nothing and sleeping. because she also doesn't care. we're supposed to do assignment but then i can't be bothered. no one can. everyone's sleeping. the weather here sucks. it's like hot and humid. and not snow. i want snow. i like snow.

i hate the russian. he's like monopolising it as if it's his. like, i'm obliged to lend him. then he'll probably return without any batt left, and give me that apologetic/qianbian smile. i mean, so what? you still killed the battery right, don't give me that smile. make me wanna punch you zzzaposfmsaiogfnhasdoihfas

all day ji/pin has been going "pyon! pyon!" and jumping up and down like she/he's a bunny. we're going to get koi later, idc.

i hate mondays. it's like nothing gets accomplished. and i still hate bio-di. now that i think about it, most of the clips are probably unusable and i'll be up all night editing. editing, editing. at least it's not final cut.

actually i think final cut is easier to use lor! i haven't used imovie like in ages.

okay.

justin's sleeping again. and so is half the class. oh yes, we went audi just now, in the dark. And I'm horrible.

fine, i'll just leave that there. not like it matters. anyway. all day today dion and abc and yx have been going around with this pic mega piece of string and tying people's pants to the chair. i wonder when it'll end.

bye. i need to go finish up suibi.

and stop being horrible to poor ji

there's no end to the journey.

behind every sad story, there lies the most profound form of happiness - love.

it is very dark now, and i am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.

you'll never walk alone.

to world enough and peace.

happy beginnings, and all the sad endings.

today has been dismal. well, i spent all afternoon filming turtles for bio-di. and i was the only one doing it...so it was difficult. holding the camera in one hand while holding the turtle and trying to get it to move towards the camera and not getting myself or the camera wet.

doing all that, while hoping that i do not fall over and get wet.

well, i got wet anyway. from perspiration. do you know how hot today is? crazy, man. it's like the sun suddenly decided to go full power. cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's fault. hmph.

i bet that made you smile. you always smile when you say cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

ace presentation done, bio di 35 % done, chinese sort of done.

guitar practice not done xP, been listening to very little music today. so now i'm spamming at high volume. call me when you're sober ~

just saw the talent search photos. it's so awesome. so nice to be able to do something, and perform. makes you feel accomplished. i must practice practice practice then next year go enter with jookee cheeseng lee. and of course, wong shall be our dancer xD

and cg had better have got in. after all the advice we gave him. of course, now we need to help him plan the final xD

finals, finals. it's the final hurdle (:

and we will get past it, no matter what.

speaking of that, 5 stations on thursday! must go train pull-up...at least 1. comeon. i must beat hema.

the trees are swaying ever so slightly in the breeze, their pine-like leaves fanning out to soak up the sunlight.

i wanted to do the story, chapter 3, but it seems guitar is a more practical use of time. i get to play music, man! even though i'm fail xD

yay. consistently in top 5 for bejeweled. i'm getting better..

emergency temporal shift.

sigh. i really need to go watch doctor who again.

today was kind of dismal. i mean, things happened, but still. it's like i felt i did things but i was kind of sad. still thinking of the past. how did we manage to screw things up that badly, i'll never know.

actually, i do know. it's just at that moment, we didn't think it over. this proves that we aren't grown up enough yet, and we can't take responsibility. so much for all the dreams.

anyway, on a happier note, i think physics is done. sort of. left with bio-di and ace..

think i'll solo ace today.

my knee hurts like crap! nuts. i think friday killed it..

i've run out of things to say again. well, i shall let the pictures do the talking. it's on fb already, but again wouldn't hurt.

of course this is edited. using iphoto though. haha. i just fiddled with the exposure and contrast a bit.

and that's adrian. awesome guy. you can tell just by my tagboard xD

hopefully i can spam work tmr. fingers crossed.

you suck.

can't you just agree? i think chickens is damn hard to do, and come on, we need to get this bloody project done.

stupid shit

it's so damn hot.

the curtains won't open. which bastard invented that stupid thing with a big button to hold it together? idiotic.

it's still so damn hot

my thumb hurts like @#!#!@ i don't know hwat

stupid typos

i'm screaming

all of you, it's all your fault

actually, it's all my fault

i just slept 2h. because i'm sleepy, and no one woke me up. how come when you specifically tell people to wake you at 4, they leave you there? i could have slept the whole night away you know

and now i'm feeling like shit. i don't even know what conversations i had anymore. all those memories, they all seem fake. like they're all inside my head.

god, i hate weekends.

okay, off to finish geog essay outline;

you're gone again.

sorry about last night's post.

i just needed to get some stuff out of my system.

that's mainly what blogs are for, i suppose? since you can't really scream in people's faces. that doesn't help because they'll just get pissed.

so yes, everything's fine now.

resolution for next week

1. don't swear so much

2. pass all 5 stations!

3. finish all the damn homework..

4. get my emotions in check.

last one's particularly important. haha, i think i need to go out more..with people. going out alone is just sad. but then there's nothing much to do in this country. nevermind. speechday soon. 15 april! we can go play pool. and dion and i will destroy all.

breakfast time.

can't get anything * beep * right.

i'm sorry...the below's kinda messed up with me screaming in my head. so don't read if you don't want to.

seriously, my thumb even hurts while i'm typing this! shit. it's hurting so bad, but at least the blood is dry now.

oh yes, speaking of which, today was an epic fiasco. we cleared phy, but in the process everyone got pissed, and we didn't clear phy proj report cos the world is screwed. also

wtf how come i have 2 chinese tuitions tmr. 2 different ones. i can't believe this. i told my mum to scheldue, but apparently she can't be bothered.

fuck this.

i don't care already, i will swear as much as i like. actually just don't read the rest cos it'll get bad.

you see, what happened was that something happened, which happened because some shit consequences caused it to happen, and then we got no power over it, so we did what we thought we should have, but then, no, trying to do the right thing never fucking works because it's always the wrong thing. so yes, and why do people have to come and be extra?! now i know being extra is annoying. and that the little things matter.

don't judge me okay, you don't even know what happened. unless you're the select few. now i feel like shit and that i just destroyed my entire life and i'm not fit to do anything now okay. can't believe this.

and it's all my fault. what can i say? i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i still feel bad. it doesn't work that way. and everything's so wrong. how come school sucks so much.

and can you, yes you, be more considerate. doesn't mean you want to then you can do shit that you want to, without caring for other people. you have to care you know.

okay, it's my problem, because no one else gets affected like me! this is stupid. i think i'll just not eat dinner.

but i'm hungry. then if i don't eat i trouble people for heating up the food for me. this is sutpid

so my tmr is virtually screwed. yes

wake up.

11-2 tuition

2-3 slack

3 go for more tuition

4 plus to 6 plus tuition II

then at night guitar

forget it

still got bio-di to do. and english advocacy. seriously, what the f is that. i think i'll just fail english

yeah, i'm a hypocrite. i will try not to fail obviously.

this is hard right, reading it in the largest font. actually it isn't actually that big.

feel free to comment on the above, it's just that..well. you may just piss me off. so if you're loo, don't. oh, he doesn't read this. problem solved.

i'll post tmr, with pictures.