emptiness.

a good word to describe how I feel right now.
it's not necessarily bad though. my mind's very clear now.

i looked at facebook chat, and all of you from my school who I care about are all on now. haha i feel like talking to you all. but i won't.

well, this past week has been, quite good actually. spent the mornings in school, the afternoons and nights slacking, and the few hours after dinner being a maniac on the netball court. fun.

I realise, I need to start listening to english songs again.
and I'm going to go learn Burst the Gravity. like, do it properly, so that I actually understand what I'm singing. it's terrible though, it's like 45% english dumped randomly -.-

but sounds so damn good.

anyway, script checking was pretty average, bordering on good. if not for the terrible physics score (which plagued our whole class, by the way), and me passing organic chem by a mere 4 marks, it would be good.

also, I sat with png and junwei for a couple of papers and they kept drawing chickens and cocks on my exam script. lol.

this method of blogging seems rather stale actually. like bread. you should always use stale bread to make bread and butter pudding, because it supposedly absorbs more custard. and french onion soup. yes, that.

screw this, i am going to the supermarket tmr.
we are out of onions and garlic. which is annoying.

exchanged anime with chee yesterday. well, i did use jookee's hard drive. and i actually made him watch OniiAi and destroyed his life. and the result is that I now have shitloads of anime to watch :D

also, I'm addicted to Borderlands 2. but I died like 10 times just now fighting skags because 1. I suck and 2. I'm freaking underleveled.  it doesn't run on mac so i'm going to play the first Borderlands which is good because I can play as Lilith and she's a siren but she's not that good yet in the first version apparently.

ah bollocks. i'm not sure if it'll even work.
right, i'm off. this post has been far too long and too formal and it just doesn't feel right actually.

continuation.

so there's school tmr.
it's been a while.

today was good. lazed around all day watching anime and sleeping thanks to the awesome weather.

also, picking up shinsekai yori and steinsgate for now. not sure if i should watch K-On! though. haha
where is my doctor who argh..

actually this week is kinda slack because we just have to get through tmr, do arp in the afternoon, then there's the outing on tuesday, script check on wed/thur and friday's a holiday.

although we will all die for script check.
i just want to get it over with actually. sigh.

okay, bye.

yeah, it still hits me. still can't forget the disappointment in myself and the disappointment in your eyes. bye.

mesmerising.

So we just got out of hostel. Just dropped jookee off and now going back to the east to drop Dion home and return the electric guitar to Yin Zhi.

Damn, I gotta get myself one of those.

The performance turned out okay, I think. I guess it's quite reasonable for a first time. But I still feel frustrated and mad at myself.

I still can't control my emotions. I can do it well when I'm in the hostel, considering I haven't gotten really really mad like even once this semester.
But it's in situations like this when it matters. I mean, I can't be so freaking rash and unreasonable. Now I realise I was annoyed for the wrong reasons and its merely my bloody ego in the way. And also, I can't seem to accept it when things go wrong. But I've been dealing with that fine all year. Ish. Why?

and there's the matter of figuring out what I really want. Maybe I'll just leave high school like that, I don't know.

bye.

the reason for kindness.

today was good :D

went to orientation planning meeting in the morning with dion and jookee, then went to music room to practice until like 2. and then went for cluster outing at Ricciotti just now and it was so heavenly.

like seriously.
the pasta. the pizza. especially dion's cheese pasta.
and the giant bowl of gelato.

haha and then walked down the singapore river. just 5 guys, being lonely and weird. and looking at pubs and laughing at the fact that png ate a whole 1.5kg chicken by himself.

okay, gotta run. gonna watch Hanasaku Iroha!
long day tmr.

no drive.

whoosh, exams.
i'm just taking it in stride you know. not pushing myself enough. and the last time i did this, i majorly screwed up and got 59.5 for every exam. well, most of them..

i don't want that to happen again.
but i just can't concentrate at home. maybe tmr will be better. i don't know.

after studying linear algebra, i feel even less confident okay. bloody hell.

goodnight. i need to sleep.