we're all screwed.

preferably i would put " FUCK" as the title, but i feel it's less vulgar putting it in the post itself. see, i'm trying.

okay, here's how it works. i get home at 8, freaking tired, stuff myself, and sit down to do work. and my eyes are already misty and closing.

so after a while i realise i can't do anything, and for some reason i can't do chem prac as well which is due first thing in the morning tmr cos for some reason kong is like pmsing and she's deducting marks if we hand up like 5 mins later. but the problem is i realise that when i did the experiment nothing happened, and they're not supposed to be soluble, but come on the DAMN FUCKING HYDROCARBONS ARE DAMN COLOURLESS, LIKE WATER. EVEN IF THEY DON'T MIX, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SEE THE LAYERS DAMMIT.

and, of course, i think i screwed up the experiment somehow, and didn't get the desired result. and then, some smarter person is going to be nice and try to tell me, but then i'll feel pissed off at them so i'll swear at them and tell them to go drown in goat's cheese or something. that's how the world works.

also, since i can't do anything for some damn reason ( which will be explained later), i spent the last 10mins or so cursing loudly, smashing my hand against the table and screaming for the damn violin noises to stop. also, i realise i can never spell against correctly. oh and DAMN YOU AMERICANS REALISE IS THE CORRECT SPELLING YOU DON'T UNDERLINE THE DAMN WORD WITH YOUR DARN RED DOTS UOQWEBFA9

okay. deep breath.

damn my mum just popped in and read this. i'm so screwed.

and....i still don't have chem results. i think i'll just hand in late tmr. can't be bothered anymore.

of course, if anyone wants to offer help, you are welcome.

right. and i do realise that usually when i bring home hw, i can never do it myself. i go completely clueless and i can't do anything so i get pissed. and there's nothing wrong with getting pissed okay, i just feel stupid. i'm really stupid, i can't do most of the things, usually i have to copy, or ask someone else to explain to me, or ask my parents. i mean, in class i feel i understand, but somehow i don't. and this means my future is dead okay. my results will be like shit which means i can't go to a good uni. but the thing is, even if i do go there i'll probably die, so no point. but the thing is that after my six years here in NUSH have to go NS, where i'll probably die again since i'm fat and can't run and other random shit. but back to the point. it's all screwed okay. the thing is, i want to go overseas but i don't want my parents to spend money on me cos it'll be like a hell lot if i do. and i can't win scholarship of course, i'm fail. and no one will care so i think i'll just spend my life rotting in this country and dying of some random disease which i probably contracted by eating too much cheesecake. i need to stop eating, i really do.

on a completely unrelated note, soccer today was good. i mean, i defended like shit but at least i scored. for once. it was mainly yos' fault...and i had luck. we still lost 3-2 though. whatever, the outcome doesn't matter, it's the path you take.

did i just say that? yes, it's what i'd like to believe, but in today's world, it's not. it's just results, ruthlessness, and the outcome that matters. what a terrible place.

]

oh, and to anyone out there worried about transcripts, it is important, but you shouldn't start worrying about it yet. i mean, for weird people who worry about it from like kindergarden then you're weird okay. no offense. but, if you want to worry about it, do it in a positive way. try to get involved in more things, but not too much. actually, to me, basic CCA is already enough.

but, hey what do i know, i'm some kind of 15 year old who's opinions won't change the world. so don't listen to me, and listen to the rest of the world, or else you'll die in the future.

actually, aliens should just invade and wipe out everyone. that'll be easier. but, no, that means death so death = not good.

galifrey.