smiling but we're close to tears.

remember, everyone needs to be loved. no one ever wants to feel like they're not wanted.

reading jodi picoult's Handle With Care now. it's kinda nostalgic, and very sad, because well, the world is sad. it's difficult to get in touch with emotions. so easy to completely fall apart and no one on the outside realises it.

today was basically doing nothing and completely slacking. i didn't even get to bake that pie, because my mum didn't go ntuc until this evening and it's too late already. so i'm doing it tmr instead. morning was frisbee...until my entire shirt was drenched. somehow there's dog crap all over the freaking grass so that's damn annoying. had to use random newspaper to cover it..

damn. i really want to watch f1. monaco grand prix seems so nice now. i used to hate monaco because ferrari was rubbish at monaco. but now alonso's made like 2 stops compared to vettel's 1 and he's less than half a second behind..

doesn't make sense.

in the afternoon i basically just ate lunch (my dad was in one of his @!#@! moods again), read the book, slacked somemore, read more, watched an episode of doctor who, and poof! it's like 6 already. in fact it's nine here, going to be ten soon.

whatever.

you know that thing about whether you would choose if you would rather have something bad happen to you, or another person? like, if you would rather get stabbed or have someone else get stabbed. it's kinda sad that we'll all pick ourselves. unless you're selfless enough. people who are really in love would probably be, i suppose.

really don't know about anything anymore.

have a couple of weddings to attend this year apparently. august 20sth is like my mum's cousin...so our aunt? -shrugs-

but have to go KL -.- and it's so close to my birthday! they can't do that, august is my month haha.

november got my uncle's wedding..that i don't actually mind because he's nice. actually i just want his 600D. but still. i want to stay for convocation! my name's already down for duty...urgh. we'll work something out.

and they have just red-flagged monaco. race over.

time for me to go too....gosh i hate script typing. tuesday will be busy. first SMO then probably going out, and then i'm rushing back to play badminton with the usual people, then rush for tuition...

rush.

sometimes we tell ourselves we are doing things for others, but in actual fact we are doing it for ourselves, to push the blame to someone else or to make ourselves feel better.