reluctant.

i wanted to write a story. had the idea in my head, but now not in the mood. i was writing it in my mind..

see, that just proves that you can never plan posts. if you even try to, it will fail horribly.

i really don't know what to say now. it's like, all jammed.

today's trip home was nice, we overspammed soccer before that. in my opinion anw, cos i suck and i never get the ball. then again. it's nice to try.

you should be able to get all the crap loo said on fiona's blog. she's gonna blog soon abt it cos i can't remember. and we were super loud on the bus and mrt, everyone staring at us..epic.

why do i always feel sleepy once the train hits tamp? what's the point, get to sleep for one stop only. sometimes, i just feel like sleeping spontaneously. just stay in the train and sleep and let it go wherever it takes you.

that'll be fun to do...in other countries. cos i already know this one too well. it'll be an adventure, a real adventure. of course, earphones would be required first.

what else...oh yes blah blah blah yx just ruined my mood. we need to do geog.

he's right, i shouldn't play that much soccer.

things to do tonight :

1. geog volcano shitty thing.

2. file phy

3. file chem

4 file math?

5. start on chem ws. = do q1

6. sleep.

oh yes, PM came our school today, it's damn wtf-ish, it's normal then suddenly it's just announced that he's visiting our school. and so they deadlock sealed the lifts for the morning. retarded. and png was going all excited and wanting to take a pic with him, and i was like,

OMG WHY DO YOU CARE HE'S JUST SOME GUY. I MEAN I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM PERSONALLY OR ANYTHING, SO I FIND THAT SHOOTING HIM WITH A LASER RAY GUN WOULD BE MORE INTERESTING. IF YOU WANNA FIND HIM THEN LEAVE ME OUT OF IT, AND YES, I'M NOT PATRIOTIC.

that's mainly it. sounds a bit cynical though heh. don't judge me kay.,

actually i think i'll get arrested.

( okay, firstly, i don't have a laser ray gun, if not hema would be fried by now. also, secondly, they didn't actually deadlock seal the lifts, i doubt if we even have the technology to do that. it's fictional. i just like the word).

time to do geog. i don't get the bonus marks for submitting early thing. it catches all of us out.

oh, and saw two kids crossing the road and cycling all over it on tricycles. insane dudes. seriously. like those suicidal pigeons.

swiss.

ultimatium.

finally finish journal. it's so tiring.

it's even more tiring to think of what's coming up. geog test w4, need to do 3 more journals, then math gct tmr, another chem prac i think. can't rmb. and then phy definitely need to retest. failed for sure.

need. to sleep.

and then need to file math and chem, so tiring. and then physics, it's all so much. lying inside my drawer now and i'm lazy to file because it's late, so file tmr. so much procrastination.

it's amazing how my mood changed when i realised i did math journal wrongly. i did it without knowing what the thing's about, that's so not good. it's like slacking, yet i feel i didn't slack cos i just spent a few hours on it.

love the way you lie.

oh, and someone tell me what this means.

math journal to finish ya.

i realise most of my motivation comes from the "fun" from doing work and the feeling of productiveness after that.

and also, that chia will kill me if i don't do this.

considering it's me, i'm lucky if i manage to crank it out in one night. not that bad, cos png did most of it le, THANK YOU! see, i'm appreciative. so need to do B, which is utter rubbish, then reflections. they even have guide for doing reflections, thank goodness, if not i won't know what to say.

and then there's math gct tmr. differentiation de. it's like what chia says, " it's okay if you don't understand, just pretend to understand, and know how to differentiate can le."

well, i started early, so there's an extra hour?

not really, i waste the first half an hour blogging and getting png to send me the thing. heh.

oh yes, presentation today! thank goodness it's over. you know zuowei and yongchern before us, then somehow they're doing the same article, then i was like wtbloodyasjidfoausao8dshit, but mainly he was just cursing taiwan, so our points not bad, but i repeated myself like 3 times i think ==

heck, it's over. what are the chances man. how many articles are there in the world.

well i suppose we picked it from that set so the chances are like 1 in 20+ ! x sth! but still.

there's a pokemon movie btw. they're ruining the world. next they'll probably do spongebob.

here's something for you. it's a video....about fb chat. very real, very real.

how often is it, that two people just miss each other? it's like so close, but so far away.

enrique iglesias looks like fabregas.

seriously, he does.

this is a short one, need to go off and study bio. still don't know what's bundle of HIS, help me.

i feel like i was a bad person today. like, douchier, very bossy, too loud, far too loud. sigh. i can never satisfy myself. but the people around me don't give me feedback! it's difficult. and it's difficult to change, most of the things i do are spontaneous.

english presentation tmr, wish me luck. super impromptu, picked the article today, then chionged in mentoring and that 1h they gave us. i think they were kinda pissed, but wtf la, you can't tell people the presentation's on tue, then send a random email on sat(which i only received a couple of hours ago) to tell them it's monday. and wth, why must we do combined class. seriously! it just makes you nervous cos you're presenting to a lot more people, and you only know half of them. i prefer 308, it's like everyone's nice and you know them all. it's easier to present to them.

hai. why must ms lam get pregnant. actually, i prefer having her around..

okay, my mood was bad in the morning due to PE. i hate PE, it sucks, we never get anything good. first we get BBALL, which is okay i suppose, but he still talks a lot a lot. actually that's not his fault, most pe teachers have to. then we get VBALL, which i get pissed at cos i suck at it so i generally spend most of the time helping to roll the tape out and roll it back. and kick the ball randomly.

and next we have TRACK. wtf, track's goddam pointless. i take back that line that i said about 7 months ago. i must have been crazy, i don't like running, i hate running. i die after 1 round dammit. WANT SOCCER. you know how much it sucks staring at you guys play it? god.\

WHY TRACK, GODDAMN IT. WE WERE ALL LIKE TELLING HIM WE WANT SOCCER. WTHECK LA, WE NEVER GET ANYTHING GOOD.

tired. oh and you christians can curse me if you want. but you're not allowed to sue me.

just, want everything to be over. hopefully tmr presentation will go smoothly, then bio quiz, then chiong the math journal and type it up by wed, then all sorted!

of course, after that, we prepare for the endless chinese tests/zuowens, and the dreaded geog test.

geog is tiredness.

party, kramu, fiesta, forever.

to be honest, doing the green handprint thing was actually quite fun. but then the silver pen failed on me. typical...

seeya around. will attempt to post tmr on png's com/.

it's always the heart that matters.

and everything else, is mostly irrelevant.

so yes, i'm chatting to png about chelsea's lost while waiting for my doctor who to load on youtube.

all i did today was read a book and suibi. need to start on journal. soon.

-about 50 min later-

i give up posting.

taskborne.

i just realised, it's extremely difficult to distinguish between dreams and reality, when you're dreaming about you in the same situation and place and time.

it is possible that this is the dream actually. dream theory's messed up. i prefer the virtual reality theory.

yes, and i haven't even watched inception. i think my last cinema movie was that horrible shrek one. complete waste of money that one.

lots of stuff to do this weekend, but i don't want to, i just want to sleep.

math journal.

geog volcano thing.

math file.

and....a lot more which i can't remember.

err yeah. the chinese paper. what else.

oh yes, the geog essay about rocks. i think i'll just google everything.

hai. my knee's still not normal.

okay, bye.

hello, i can't see a thing.

good morning, it's about 4.14, and will probably be around 422 by the time i finish this.

ha, alice.

do you know the wonky man, the wonky man, the wonky man?

do you know the wonky man, the wonky man, who lives in wonkerland.

nat wants me to blog. so yeah.

i have nothing else to say actually.

so i'm off.

and yes, as lee kindly pointed out, it's like 428 now.

429.

crustaceans.

the problem of coming home too early is that there's too much time then you get tired and sleepy. actually there's stuff to do but i can't be bothered, so just slack first.

study for chem, then do math corrections. again, messed up the corrections and chia was pissed. actually he wasn't really, it's just the way he expresses it that makes me annoyed. wtv, it was my fault in the first place anyway. just correct again.

messed up test..how to do q2? spent like 15mins (at least) staring at it . i was almost gonna put k = 0 and theta = some random number cos if k is zero it doesn't matter.

didn't go to find a doctor after all. my knee's better, but still quite swollen. it's the muscle i think. feels tight and painful when it contracts. hopefully it'll be better tmr. can't even run or climb stairs, terrible. got lucky today, took lift a lot cos it came. but lost physics notes, which i was pissed about in the morning. typical.

finished chem ws redo just now in school, feel so accomplished. it's with nikki now though, along with jiamin's. actually that's mainly cos she went into my class and screamed all about not knowing how to do. but heck, it's due friday 6pm, so got loads of time. the art people have to stay till 8, for tangents! sad.

and the tangents sign on the concourse was pointed towards the field! so cool.

i realise the people i sms the most are like jordan ( to talk random crap), and hardik and boon chong ( to talk about projects). amazing.

have to go, gonna go drink coffee, my mum recently bought a lot. actually her friend bought when she went on cruise to penang, those people are really insane, spam de. seriously, they buy like 50 plus giant packets per trip, insane.

backstage's boring.

i think i'll post later before going to sleep, will sleep early today!

has paper. yay!

sometimes i wonder who reads my blog, it's like all these people are elusive, they should make themselves known. it's like a perception filter, except it's a massive one.

tired. but it will soon be over. hopefully.

short one, hopefully i don't get distracted today. the plan is to read math notes before dinner, then dinner, and redo half of chem ws, then math again. all while i just want to sleep and melt away.

i hate chem worksheets. i never get them right. the questions which are not graded i get correct, and those graded i make some retarded mistake and get it completely wrong. then have to redo. and have to write EVERYTHING again. sian.

my brother's home. someone help revitalise me. so dead.

i should run for the bus more often. and mario spam!

anagrams.

it's hectic, like there's loads of things to study for and i know it, but somehow i can't move so i just sit here at the com finding things to do. weird huh.

thur math test, friday chem quiz.

next week bio quiz and geog test.

people in other schools are mugging for exams dammit.

short posts are good. during school days. maybe i'll get a tumblr and switch to wordpress during hols. and type a lot of philosophical crap about LIFE.

haha, bio prac's heart dissection. although you can answer 96% of the worksheet without taking any info at all from the heart, it's all in the notes. except that you have to measure the thickness of the ventral walls. the whole thing is a lump of bloody muscle actually.

the catalyst. such a nice song.

see, this post is becoming overly long again. i'd better go, a lot of stuff to do.

the wonky man who lives in wonkerland.

it's time for a quickie.

okay, need to go write my speech so i'll make this short. hopefully it doesn't sound as depressing as you usually think it is.

basically, today was okay, i felt i accomplished a lot cos i finished chem ws. wrote a lot as usual. and hated pe. resorted to picking balls up, but all my kicks all failed, the vball too light le. argh. i want soccer.

i dunno if you've heard this before, but this came from LOO when we were on the train.

" I stole all your NaOH.

now all your base are belong to us. "

okay that's rather lame but it's funny. like funny lameness. or lame funnyness. get it?

you don't, do you.

argh. speech? i think i'll just end up ranting again...which is bad. hopefully the sun's not spam tmr so we can spam soccer. oh yes, if you see this, bring my towel. if you can't find it then sms me to tell me, so i can bring another one...

speech. die. good luck to everyone.

karma sucks. period. but it's even worse when you know it's coming, and it's not that you were that evil. but who can judge that?

" Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie "

awesome song.

i'm thinking "natural occurences" for my speech, just ramble on about life and love and random crap. but i think everyone will hate me, ha, they won't get it.

loving someone is too hard, really too hard.

26 planets.

it will be fine in the end, really.

resisting the temptation to swear.

guess again, is this going to be a happy post?

actually i'm fine, i'm fine with the headache, i'm fine with the painful knee, i'm fine with the fact that i didn't do anything the whole day, but the thing i'm not fine with is losing my notes.

i mean, what the hell? it's so damn annoying to lose the notes that you filled in and wrote stuff you will need for the worksheet, for the quiz, and for the exams, are gone. and it's probably because i lent it to someone and they didn't return/lost it. i clearly remember it in my file okay.

there i go blaming people again. i probably just misplaced it. heck, now i have to print a new set and copy from png. even hema's notes are useless, it's like 30% filled in, and doesn't contain my method on how to do the damn question. don't really get anything now.

forget it, my eyes hurt, i'm off.

maybe i should talk about gloominess and being unhappy for the speech, i seem rather good at it.

oh yes, and please tag.

on drugs?

that's what lee says. cos i'm happy now. you'd better believe it. being stuck in a room full of macs with nothing else to do except wait for videos to finish copying. which will probably take the rest of the month. so everybody's slacking. even chee's here, he's a regular now.

yes, i'm happy. you'd better believe it.

english is balls. there's compre test, speech, topical presentation. wth. so many. then next week there's math and geog test. die.

shit, i am traumatised. don't ask.

the internet hates us.

well, i think that cheh should go do his math.

he says i should teach him.

ok, i'm off to watch soccer highlights. cya.

or not.

everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

dates clash, everything clashes. can't go for tan's wedding cos of obs. typical.

tardis. hai.

delete.

okay sort of day. the only bad thing was the match on the field.

i realise there's really, nothing else to say. except that i wish there was aircon or at least fan in my toilet. everytime i stay in there for more than 5 minutes i end up sweating as if i'd just run a kilometre. well, if i were even able to do that, that is.

don't read this...it's just, pointless.

i'm trying iforgot again. fyi, i can't sign in to my itunes account so i can't update and download anything. and they refuse to send me the email that will let me reset it. also, they even say the birthday i input is wrong. bastards.

things to do tonight : chem prac.

and...erm, file geog? zz.

an awful lot of running.

peer pressure.

i really hate it sometimes, i mean, it's so annoying. it's like i can't do what i want to do, just to make people happy. i want to go home, so I go home. you guys can follow me or stay and play soccer, it's completely separate issues. so don't use it as an excuse and say that if i don't play then no one plays. i'm just one person. how many times have you guys played without me playing? think about it.

sheesh.

nah this is just reflections, like general reflections. today was fine, cos loo was pissed at idk what, but we only had half a court, how to play -.-

you can't force it.

well, today was okay i suppose, but screwed up physics. i don't think anyone finished the paper, i mean those normal people, not the super smart kinda people who expect to get 43. still.

i failed again. planned the post beforehand. still havent learned to stop doing that. everytime i do that, it fails. it just seems...not nice to read.

no hw tonight, yay! if there is i'll just do tmr, so i'm planning to just slack here and then go to sleep. slept a lot today, in chinese + after chinese, then during math, and on the train just now. got a seat at outram, then just knockout, slept till simei. it's like i wake up in time to see dion exit the train, limping. yeah he injured his ankle, so i was carrying his bag for most of today. he'd better wear slippers tmr, it's damn swollen.

side note, the peanut butter cookies at our school are freaking good. go try, you'll definitely agree with me. unless you hate peanut butter of course, if you do don't try, obviously. of course lee hates me from drinking about 70% of his seasons peach tea. it's super nice, but too sweet, i agree. just a tad too sweet. but nice enough, i don't like the taste of the pokka one, even though it's purer. actually has the taste of tea, which is awesome.

jordan png should stop emoing. i hate it when he does that. mostly it's cos of results. hai, if you do badly can't be helped, you definitely tried your best, just move on and be happy! at least that's how i see it. different mindset to the world.

unless it's exams of course, then i get pissed for around a week. and then my dad will kill me. typical.

so don't be sad.

tmr's spam soccer day, cya.

there are a thousand explosions across the sky, and earth is left in the middle of a void. silence falls.

expelliarmus.

my head's spinning.

i don't know, i don't want to go back to school.

1. need to wear formal

2. pe (which is basically sweating and not achieving anything.)

3. physics test.

still spinning. and my notes/books/hw are still strewn all over the table. and i'm hardly hungry. what's wrong with me.

argh stop the spinning.

just now played monopoly. well, yes i'm evil, i built houses on some super ex place and i kinda bankrupted my bro. typical.

today was slack, too slack. i just did the circular motion chapter today. and some thermodynamics. then i hecked and went to play soccer with my bro in the house. then monopoly. hai. but my dad was nice the whole weekend, which is good. in fact, he's at some restaurant with my mum now. it's her birthday. i keep thinking it's a turkish restaurant.

oh, i just got intel that they're on the singapore flyer. haha. well done to him then. smart guy.

i suppose this making women happy thing takes skill. and about twenty years of practice and experience.

i wonder if they're having foie gras.

no, i can't. need to lose weight. anyway. can't wait for exams to be over. but then there's still 3 more years. year 5 sounds terrible. hostel, which will be i'm not so sure if it's fun or not, then there's tons of shit to do, and more exams. and then graduate, and NS. urgh.

heck, one day at a time.

okay, i'm off to watch HISHE and keep my stuff. bye.

if it were that way, the world would be too silent a place.

exploded.

it's saturday already. time really flies.

still need to wrap up the geog and finish suibi. math assn heck, go school copy. bio's w2.

then study for physics..die. i feel like i understand thermody more than the rest. but actually i don't. i think. i can't apply for anything...terrible.

throat has phelgm. terrible.

bye.

hyper.

" baby i like it. "

you should know the song.

enrique iglesias man. he's probably the only spanish artists' name i can spell without looking up xD

okay, i just finished revising physics minus impulse and momentum. but it was slackish, it was the read one page then go play soccer with my bro in the house using a beach ball for 1.5h kind of revision. doesn't really count. but still. then now i promised myself i'd type geog up and finish it or else i'm not going tmr :/ which i am, so i must finish it. and then i have to do the exam study timetable thing for my dad..well, it's for me but he's the one forcing me to do it. but i suppose it's good if not i'll never start studying. i'll start like a day before they start and then i'll die.

still feel paranoid. so many people who i want to go not going tmr. like, cheh, loo, russian, dion, jen. cheh changed his mind and made me happy, then he changed his mind again...sheesh. sad. i want him to come! and i realise he always wears the same shirt no matter where he goes, he must have thousands of those. automatic copy machine.

that'll be awesome. just put money in and set to 108302184723987429 copies. then go buy an island.

hema says it'll rain. and he wants me to bring calc. you know if it rains that's like $30 wasted. and that people like me and foo and fiona travelled all the way there for nothing. actually distance doesn't really matter, seeing friends again is worth it. haha.

i sound like some old dude reminiscing about his past memories. i really feel sad for those people. but i'm gonna be one of them in the future..

:(

i'm trying to be more normal, see, more smiley faces and xDs. less words.

actually there's only three of those so far. fail.

think i was too loud today. i was having like epic mood swings in the morning. i can't sleep, so wake up and walk into room with com. turns on com. loads bejeweled. realises i don't really want to play. gets pissed for no reason and starts screaming at everything which makes everyone mad and then my whole house is angry.

hai. i'm sorry.

hooray png's coming tmr! rejoice. although i'm not sure if you will. you're having that face right now, aren't you. just...forget it. think about something else.

like cheerios!

wtheck are cheerios. cereal?

-googles-

yup.

to be honest, the packaging's not aesthetically pleasing. i wouldn't buy it.

okay so what if it's american. it's not that i don't like them, but they're a bit nuts. as in the not so good kind of nuts. seriously, there's a pastor who wants to burn the Quran. wtheck for?

don't sue me.

i think i should go. needa type geog and do the timetable. and it's ten. ah. have to wake up at around 730-8ish. will be fun. imagine my face when i reach jurong east and the sky's super overcast.

stick around, pond.

ps: it took me 3 tries to find a good cheerios pic. the first two were like so damn big and hq they expanded this post window. terrible.

complex.

i'll make this quick cos my eyes are hurting.

okay, so today basically just went abc's house. i took 81, was like 15mins late. then it's like after dion came it's like epic rain. and no shelter to his condo. so it's like 4 of us share one umbrella...epic fail. heck, just run then go his house spam his hairdryer..

so finished chem poster, geog video thing (heck that), and q1 of math. quite productive right xP.

dion was just spamming angry birds all the way. typical. oh and we played with nerf guns. caught dion in the room with no bullets...so fun!

then went macs..because...i have no idea. oh yes, because hardik wanted to -.-

i should start taking photos for whatever events we go out to then spam upload on fb. it seems fun. except that i'm lazy and that i don't know how to upload to facebook (never tried).

i remember us teaching syed and i don't even know in the first place.

heck, dinner.

it's too extreme. it's like some people are overly happy and some people are overly depressed. that's...not good. and then there's me. actually i'm more of depressed since i'm half sick. must have demolished half a box of tissue today. oh well. i'm not that depressed.

life should just be sleep eat play stuff rest eat play more stuff sleep.

vacation.

right now i'm at some random holiday inn where there's snow and all we do is use com, play and eat. and i'm with my friends and all we do all day is spam sports and play games. what an awesome life.

---------

i wish.

actually i'm at home trying to avoid doing work but then i know i need to do work and i don't want to do work. and if i don't do work i dunno what to do. typical. so i shall just sit here and rant about how life sucks. or something like that.

actually life doesn't suck, it's just that we(or myself as a person) will never be satisfied. that's why when they ask you to compare life experiences, it's good. helps you put things in perspective.

i really can't bring myself to touch any work. like seriously. then yesterday i kinda full force kicked a glass-ish looking plastic door. yeah. i know. i was pissed cos i couldn't do chem and then my eyes were burning like crap (again). i think it's over-looking on this com screen even though i still can't figure out what i do on the com. seriously, all i do is waste electricity. and my phone refuses to charge (actually that's kinda my fault for abusing it that badly) , and i'm left wondering whether i should just crap a couple of people who live near me and go for a walk.

walks are good. you get to think, get fresh air, see the world. and sing. actually i was spending most of last night's walk scanning the area for daleks. i mean, they don't even exist. i'm going crazy. too much doctor who.

i realise you didn't understand anything i said in that paragraph (minus the first sentence), unless you're jiamin. you can either

1. google it.

2. ignore it.

3. go get a sandwich.

i'm off, can't think of anything else to say.

oh right, you may notice i changed the blog design..i think it's uglier, but i didn't like the purple from before.

universal truth.

basically you just have to understand spacetime, then you rule the world cos you can do anything.

i'm too tired to talk about what happened today, it's just all a mess. all i want to say is that got loads of work and thanks jiamin and lee for helping me hand in all the phy/eng just now, i was like holding tons of stuff, hopefully i handed in everything correctly.

media was slack, i'm doing orientation 2010 with nat. haha the person who took the flame coming down failed, i think it was too fast to track. so it ended up with filming the blue sky for most of it. but the fire shot was nice.

orientation was like such a short time ago, but it's been 9 months. looks like life will flash by, time really passes fast.

i think i will go get some jelly and watch the apple keynote now. bye.

dalek.

oh yes, new ipod touch, new nano, and new apple tv.

it's all damn small, has glass now. so nice.

that's the problem with apple. they keep making nicer stuff each year. i wonder if my itouch can last another year. probably not, with you lot spam using it playing your various games.

\

today's monday, tmr's friday. damn weird. don't think it'll be good, the last friday wasn't. hopefully phy's okay. i'm worried about that. mind you, it'll probably be chem that's difficult.

things to do tonight.

1. edit and print my journal

2. sms alice to remind him to bring his media shirt -.-

3. study chem

4. study phy.

5. sleep early cos i was really dead today.

have to go, dinner.

and i'm half sick again. bad.

what a mess.

just slept 3h. for what i have no idea. and i'm starting to feel sick, again.

it's just the cycle of getting sick and being normal (so-called) again. sucks.

and i've only done q2 and q3 of math assn. i suppose i'll chiong that and phy prac in school.

then there's the matter of studying for quizzes. i've done bio, but still not that familiar. and i know better than to read the textbook. and phy...well, i still can't do any of the extra questions.

math heck, just read a bit later. chem's done, one round, and there's still geog to finish, but should i?

i don't know what to do anymore. everything's just wrong. and pe tmr. it'll probably be shit. i just hope i don't fall down or something. actually falling down in grass is fine, just not elsewhere.

later going out for dinner? i don't want to, i just wish i could accomplish something in life.